Do you ever talk to yourself as if someone is there?
Of course you do or you have talked to yourself. Afterall, you ARE someone.
The number one problem is the shame that is built in by society to admit that you talk to yourself.
When I was a girl, I would hear the adult women, say that it was ‘unnatural’ and ‘crazy to talk to yourself’.
As an adult however, I have different findings.
I remember walking into any room of our home and find my father talking to himself. Always. He didn’t even stop to acknowledge me. It is how he processes and makes decisions.
And he deeply trusts himself.
It is uncommon, but it is sound to hear yourself out. If you don’t your ego will act out inappropriately a make a mess somewhere and with someone because you didn’t honor yourself to check out what you were/are thinking.
If you don’t check out your thoughts, these will turn into feelings.
It goes against what is popular, but look at people who follow the masses are they happy with their lives?
Why in the world do we trust the opinion of other people over your own when it comes to how and what to do with your life?
*This post and its contents are not a replacement for medical or mental professional help or assistance. If you find yourself thinking of harming yourself, this is beyond the scope of this article. Please contact Support.
Remember the shame that was mentioned above? It is more concerned about how you will look vs how you feel. It is an energy body aka ego and it should NOT be trusted.
Let’s say someone ‘finds out’ or overhears you indulging yourself with your own counsel. This person searches your face seeking for answers with a look of deep concern, touching their heart asking, “You weren’t talking to yourself, where you?”
Almost as an accusation.
On the surface, this appears to be a true concern and perhaps it is, but usually, it speaks to the frowning upon relying and trusting yourself that makes people leery.
How is it that you can look to yourself for your own answers? Don’t you need to check outside (of self) to other people for their validation, opinion or stamp of approval?
Society LOVES the idea of people they know of being able to think and feel for themselves, just not necessarily people that are in their circle. That’s just too close and who do you think you are anyway?
Do you bother telling the truth that indeed your best answers are found from within or lie and say that you were singing a song?
If it seems like the person would be receptive to this awareness, share away otherwise, save yourself and say nothing.
Ask yourself the tough and interesting questions.
and Yes, answer yourself.
If a friend were asking your advice, you wouldn’t leave them hanging right?
At the very least, you would listen intently because sometimes there is no answer at that exact moment. But do by all means ask yourself the questions.
This investigation is necessary to figure out what you are thinking, feeling and what are your next steps. When you speak with your Self, you learn to hear what your gut says about what to do or not to do.
The best answers are found inside. Usually always, but only with practice. Talk to yourself, so that you can tell the difference between the voices: your ego and your source.
They are not the same and the more you practice, the tricker the ego is in mimicking your source, your soul.
As a life coach, I have come to understand more about the human spirit and as I do, I am honored to be able to serve by holding space.
The ways in which genders are accepted is under investigation (by this article and by me).
My work has been primarily with how girls + women are process currently despite societal norms and how they can rely on their body’s wisdom for their true sovereignty.
Though I am speaking from this lens as this is the bulk of my expertise, I do understand the following can be felt and can be used by all human’s being:
There are many voices going on inside of your head at any given moment and they must be sorted to find out what the what is because rarely are they all on one accord.
Your mother and/or father (guardian), culture, society, social scene, class, gender roles, industry, ego and your soul to name a few.
The present conditioning is to not trust your own opinion – therefore to elicit advice of your friend(s), partner or boss but usually there are strings attached to this advice. If you ask these people, they want and expect you to follow their instruction.
Sometimes, speaking to a mental health professional, ie. psychologist or life coach is preferred and in other cases, necessary. These terms are hyperlinked to understand the primary differences.
Don’t let shame shut down your seeking support, if the load is just too much.
If you need it, please get it.
The overarching wish for this article is that you learn this important life skill.
Your Knowing aka gnosis does not live in your head, it lives in your body: your heart and your gut.
To question old paradigms, stigmas and roles are paramount to personal care.
You must have an ally on the inside or a myriad of nasty circumstances await and grow, i.e. stress, body pain, over eating, undereating, disease, bad relationships to name a few.
Until you are accustomed to hearing your ally, sometimes you gotta dig deep to recognize her.
That quiet, small voice that feels like a sweet breeze, there she is. She doesn’t push or impose, she is the polar opposite of the ego and yet she is powerfully subtle.
Practice is the tool here.
It is necessary to train your emotional/spiritual ears to hear her properly. Now, I am not saying that it is easy, that is why I am talking about practice.
As you consider this, be gentle and do your best not to do this with your head. We are trained to think, we are told in order to be taken seriously, we must be critical thinkers.
Emotion and feelings weren’t and aren’t really recognized, so these things become something you do some other time or let these skills die because you were trained that they didn’t have any real value.
You dislodged from your knowing aka the bigger parts of yourself and rely on your believing and knowing from the neck up.
But this doesn’t have to remain the story, you can access your spirit/soul connection.
The most effective tools that I use to assist my clients are breathing, meditation or writing. The brain or ego whatever you want to call it slows down when these tools are being exercised and ‘she’ is able to spring forward.
She is everywhere. Always present. Always sending you her love and attention. She doesn’t go on and on, her answers are to the point and sound.
She says, “Be still, all is well, yes, no, go now, not now, wait, you are perfect, move away, you are love, quiet.”
It takes a trained ‘ear’ and the ability to expose the imposters inside constantly talking up a storm.
She will wait a lifetime for you to see/hear her (the true you), she is your soul, the observer.
She holds the truth of you. Not the story of the toos and nots: too short, too tall, don’t know enough.
She is the perfection of you, your essence, your power, the feminine.
If you will allow yourself to turn to her, sit at her feet and see what she has to say about you. It is a beautiful story that you will adore and hold sacred. It may scare you enough to make your eyes spring water, but stick with it.
How? Every statement (is a prayer), every emotion that causes you a feeling of pain, question or heavy emotion: ask, who is speaking? I can assure you, it is not her, your soul.
In order to gain positive momentum, just ask, “Who is speaking?” A power filled, non-judgmental question in order to recognize the fraudulent talk.
It is good practice and you will be glad, you defied the odds and spoke to yourself.