Time passed before, I fully understood the statement above. I was taught to keep my head down, stay out of trouble, get good grades and then get a good job (eh hmm, and stick with this job until retirement). When you have an inquisitive nature, that plan can fall apart…and it did.
At an early age, I discovered that when I said, “I don’t know”, I was off the hook and I didn’t have to decide. I also noticed that as long as I appeared ok, I could hide out in plain sight. To the outside world, I had it all together.
I got really good at this. I ONLY took risks, if I knew I could win. Calculated risks. Otherwise, I ‘backed out’ with uncertainty and not knowing.
Hiding In Plain Sight
This sure thing (security thing) followed me into my current career of life coaching. At first, I became a business coach because I wanted to be taken seriously. I loved being taken seriously. Being important and significant were the major motivators for me; something to set me apart from the ‘others’. Safe.
The type of coaching my heart yearned to share is an abyss of scary for those who like to skate around the surface! I would have to be vulnerable, talk about uncomfortable situations and scenarios that are still taboo in society, but I KNEW that if shared with the masses, a lot of women could claim their own freedom and have a powerful voice. I told myself, that, no one would understand ‘my type’ of coaching and especially not the topics. I would be misunderstood and I would be stamped woo-woo.
So business coaching it is (was). I spent time developing business cards, websites, and social media pages. I even wrote a book on the subject and yet it wasn’t quite right.
Fundamentally, I love entrepreneurs and what they contribute to the world. I feel that the world commerce is going to continue to be deeply affected by them. However, I didn’t care about the day to day operations of their businesses. I still don’t. Instead, I wanted to know about who they are, how they are, what made them tick. I understand deeply that for most entrepreneurs, a business problem is a personal problem in disguise.
Intellectually, I knew that when you follow your heart all your synapses fire, you can hardly sleep, when you are relaxing you are thinking of tweaking and how to make that thing better, you can’t wait to get up in the morning, you are happy from the inside, nurturing your dream and that nothing can stop me feeling.
Yeah, I didn’t have that. Instead of YAY, it was more like yay…
It felt like a bait and switch, because once I when I enrolled clients, I went straight for a line of questioning that I am sure to them seemed bizarre. Such as:
Were they happy about who they were?
Do you eat well?
Were they rested and rejuvenated?
Did they love their lives and the people in it?
Where they comfortable in their bodies? Did they listen to their bodies?
I wanted their businesses to succeed because that is what they wanted and I could’ve allowed that to be enough. However, my heart wasn’t there. How could I ask and require the best from a client, if the real me hadn’t shown up? Honestly, that is not a vibrational match! No fun for anyone one.
I refocused my attention to the questions above, my true reasons and inspiration of being a coach and allowed the business coaching fade into the distance.
Showing up without the security blanket of the marketplace and being woo-woo straight on, created a lot of not knowing within me. No more, hiding in plain sight, though. It was time to show up! All the way.
Are you using your voice powerfully and true to your heart? Where do you get to express yourself fully in your life: business? play? or both. Let me know in the comments.